Can sex help you perform better at work and in life? This expert thinks so.
The wellness landscape is forever changing with a renewed focus on the self becoming an increasingly important part of our daily lives. But a topic that’s only just beginning to make its way into the mainstream, is sexual wellness.
On a mission to change all of that is Sexual Empowerment Expert, Asti Maree. Empowered by her own journey and rediscovery of her sexuality, she’s helping women reclaim their power by working on their sexual wellness. We caught up with the coach, business owner and founder of luxury sex toy range, Pleasure Treasures, to learn more.
What makes you so passionate about female empowerment and what led you into the sexual wellness space?
I’ve been on my own empowerment journey for quite some time now. I’d just left a toxic relationship and my passion for pole dancing led me into the world of adult entertainment. I danced in strip clubs around Australia for 9 years, also going on to win multiple Australian Showgirl titles including Miss Erotic Australia. I barely recognised the woman I was becoming.
For so long I had been drowning in shame, constantly second-guessing myself, disconnected from my sexuality and dimming my light trying to fit myself into a box deemed acceptable by society. All of a sudden, I had become this confident, carefree, self-assured, pleasure-filled woman who was paving her own way.
With stripping being a taboo career choice, I was often met with judgement and disgust, but in the same breath, the same women were also in awe of my carefree and sexually empowered nature. I soon realised they were just relating to me in the same way they do their own sexuality.
I realised most women had this deep hunger to reclaim their sexuality and return to their core sexual, sensual essence of being a woman, but there was so much fear, shame, disgust and judgment around doing so, placed on them by society.
So, I dove deeper into my own healing and studied to become a certified Sex, Love and Relationship Coach. I’m incredibly passionate about this work because I’ve seen first-hand how it can change not just your sex life, but your entire life! I believe that reclaiming this core aspect of being a woman is where women find a true sense of wholeness, feeling ‘enough’, worthiness, confidence and a deep knowing of who they are and what they want out of life.
Can you tell us about the connection between sexual wellness and performance at work and in business?
One thing I see a lot of both with friends and clients is that women never feeling like they are ‘enough’. I see so many women who are overqualified, have studied all of the things, have all of the certificates, degrees and experience and are still second guessing themselves.
We live in a society that teaches us that our sexuality is dirty, shameful, disgusting or even dangerous and should be hidden. As a means of fitting in, being safe and being accepted by the people around us, over time we disassociate from this part of ourselves leading to a sense of not being whole. You cannot disassociate from the most core, innate and powerful aspect of being a woman and still feel perfectly whole and complete, nor will you feel worthy of excelling in your career or earning big money.
Also, as many women are disconnected from themselves and their truth, they are not even truly aware of what they actually desire out of work and business. They end up chasing the ‘shoulds’ placed on them by society and no matter how successful they become in their field it never brings them a true sense of fulfilment of contentment because it’s not in alignment with their soul desires.
Empowerment of any sort is about knowing what you want and being able to go out and get it. The problem is, most women don’t know what they truly desire. This can be uncovered by looking within and connecting to yourself on deeper levels. The most powerful way to do that, you guessed it – sex! How you do one thing is how you do everything. The way that you show up in sex is how you show up in life (and business). Learn to receive more effortlessly in sex and you’ll receive more financial abundance in business. Voila!
How do you work with women in business? Can you tell us a little about your process and what clients could expect?
The types of women who benefit from working with me are women who have focused on their career for so long and feel like they have gone too far into their masculine energy, they’re craving more softness, flow and surrender. They’re ready to get off the hamster wheel so they can start moving towards their desires with ease.
I love working with women who are ready to put themselves first, who have up until now had a hard time setting boundaries around sex, love and dating and are ready to raise the bar as to how they are met by men.
I hold my business mastermind ‘The Turned On CEO’ with my business partner and best friend Brittney Vangestel. The Turned On CEO is an intimate 6-month business coaching container where we use our combined wisdom and experience to guide women through both inner mindset and energetic alignment and the outer strategy, planning, structure side of setting up a thriving, pleasure-based, 6 figure business.
We run bi-weekly group coaching sessions, bi-weekly guest speaker calls and each woman also gets a monthly 1:1 so we can deep dive with her personally to really work our magic on shifting up and amplifying her business.
What kind of outcomes have you been seeing?
We started just a few months ago and the results have been insane. Women are tripling their incomes and selling out programs. They’re on fire! A huge part of all of this for us is permission. I think it’s so powerful for women to belong to a community of women with similar goals and interests.
It changes everything having a whole team of women behind you cheering you on every step of the way. It’s also really beautiful to be in a space where women can openly share, celebrate and brag about their success. This has been a huge piece in my own journey as it offers a sense of ‘if she can do it, I can do’. Together we continue to break through the glass ceiling for each other and expand our perception of what’s possible.
What are your top tips for women in business who want to use sexual empowerment to perform better at work and in life?
Firstly, I have to say stop using pleasure as a reward. Pleasure is your birthright. Self-pleasure before work and it’ll release dopamine and oxytocin and lower levels of cortisol. This allows you to feel more relaxed, sharpens your thought process and makes you more productive throughout the day.
I have a range of luxury sex toys, The Pleasure Treasures. They each come with an audio practice guide or video demo to guide through pleasure, healing, alignment or embodiment. They’re a great place to start for anyone new to self-pleasure or wanting to upgrade their self-pleasure rituals.
Ask yourself how you can make your workday sexier. Sexual empowerment isn’t just about sex, it’s about feeling good. It’s about sensuality, pleasure, femininity. Do more things that make you feel good during your workday. Take dance breaks, spend time in nature in between meetings, take your time when you eat.
Sexual wellness is a topic that was once very taboo, but with the expansion of the wellness industry, do you see sexual wellness and female empowerment becoming more of a focus? Where do you hope the industry goes?
I do! It’s slowly becoming more and more acceptable to talk about. This is the first step in healing and what I am so passionate about; creating space where nothing is taboo, everything is welcome and received with nothing but pure love, compassion and acceptance.
Often when I tell people what I do there is a lack of understanding. People say things like ‘don’t people know how to have sex anymore’ or ‘I’ve never had any sexual trauma, my upbringing was perfect’. The thing is, we live in a society where our sexuality is heavily conditioned and so sexual healing and empowerment is something that everyone can benefit from.
I hope to see it go more mainstream. Self-pleasure and sensual embodiment work should be viewed similarly to yoga. I think this will be the next big thing. First was the wave of gyms, yoga and physical health, next people will want to focus more on inner wellbeing and sexuality will be a huge piece of this. Many people are working on personal development and leaving out sexuality altogether, soon people will realise that you cannot truly step into your power without working on all parts of yourself, especially the most powerful aspect of yourself – your sexuality.
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